Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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