Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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