i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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