singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
