Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
