When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
