I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
