3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
