K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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