I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
