in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
