Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
