i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
