do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize