By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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