Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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