he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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