STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
