ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just high enough for therapy.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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