Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
