I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Two words: blizzard sex
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
