is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You are a genius and a whore.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
