Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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