a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Boobs are out for the taking
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
