Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
