i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
where am i from again
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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