I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
