How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
