no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
