JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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