Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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