I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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