I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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