We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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