Don't EVER smell your tampon
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
