You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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