Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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