Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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