Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
