I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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