he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
then he tried to convert me to islam
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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