sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just pee around me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
