No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just pee around me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
