Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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