Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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