No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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