I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This is my gift to your gina
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
