Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
