She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize