____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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