Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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