I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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