he wants to bone in the snuggie
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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