I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
