dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
