Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
