Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
