But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize