How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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