remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
