it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
