I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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