shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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