Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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