we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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